Recently, I scanned through all the old documents that I “interacted” with on my soon-to-be-replaced PC. I had that PC since 2006, and I suddenly realize that all PCs are just like butterfly nets.
Yes, all PCs are like butterfly nets that you subconsciously strap to your back as you run across the meadows of whatever you considered to be, life. On a good day, a butterfly would get caught as you frolic through the fields, and on a bad day, a bee might get caught in the process.
I’m proud to say that I’ve caught several beehives in these past 6 years. Beehives that have undoubtedly shaped a large part of who I am today.
Chapter 1: The Glass half-empty
Many of you may not know of this, but I was a very active Christian back in my secondary school days. Lets wind the clock a little further now, back when I was in the later years of my primary school days. I was a pessimistic train wreck, and by that I simply mean that if I was a train, I’d be wrecked. For as far back as I can recall, anything and everything that would come my way, be it good or bad, I’d always be able to interpret it in the worst possible light.
Once, in Chinese class, I was to read a paragraph to the class. I was terrible at Chinese and everybody was well aware of it, but when I finished my paragraph, I heard applause, first from my Chinese teacher, then, the rest of the class. I said these words as an instinctive response “You guys know I just read it poorly, what are you clapping for?!”. The class fell silent after that.
Chapter 2: Sanctuary?
This attitude didn’t start to change till my 1st year in secondary school. Throughout the year, I noticed a change in my elder brother’s character. For once, it didn’t seem like we were going to throw chairs at each other anytime soon. (Yeah, we used to do that.) I found out that it was because he had started attending church.
You might think our already-dysfunctional relationship would start to take a turn for the better, but no, it didn’t. The negative person that I was only became more distant towards my brother. I had a classic victim’s mentality. Every single misfortune that would fall upon me, I’d blame on every single imaginable being other than myself, including God.
How did I set foot into Church?? Simple. I soon found out that one of my secondary school friends had started attending the same church that my brother attended. Not wanting to feel left out, I came to my first youth service in Heart of God Church.
It was an eye opening experience. I came back the next week to experience it all once more. The strangers that would queue up to know your name, the (without a better word to describe…) hip music, and most importantly, for a boy with raging hormones, the chicks.
Chapter 3: Sanctuary
Before I knew it, I was all for church. It was the most fun I’ve ever had since Metal Gear Solid 3, which is still so fun, it’s not even funny. I soon found myself to happier than normal, more outgoing that I ever thought I could be, and blabidiblabla, you get the idea.
Now, it is important for anyone who read this far to know that this is not a whole “Christianity helped me, and it will definitely help you too” post. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, its that you can’t force your religious views onto others, no matter how right your belief may seem, and how wrong it may look for any other religion out there. I learnt that the hard way.
By 2007, I became a regular at my church, and I’d always be excited to go to church. At that time, there was nothing that I’d want more than to bring friends to my church. The stories that I’ve been hearing, ex-gangsters, becoming model students in their schools, getting excellent grades in class, inspiring their friends, making a difference, I thought such things would only be possible in Role Playing Games.
So I was off to change the world, one person at a time. Only that non of them needed saving, not to them anyway. It was something that a brand new christian like me could, in no way, comprehend. Things blew out of proportion, I lost many friends that year due to my lack of understanding, or perhaps it was a lack of the desire to understand?? Doesn’t matter.
I even went so far as to invite a couple of them to my place for a stayover, only to reveal to them that it was a trap to reel them into church. You heard right, I used my own birthday to hook my friends into coming to my church.
I was loathed.
Chapter 4: The Hard Lesson
2007 was without a doubt, the best and worst year of my life, which ultimately made it a really OK year for me, if you look at it statistically. On a regular week, I’d experience 5 days of hell and 2 days of heaven. To be honest, the classmates that hated on me already did so before I was a christian, becoming one just made it official, I was public enemy No. 1.
In retrospect, if I had been more understanding, more sincere in my approach, more sensitive, perhaps 1 or 2 of my ex-friends wouldn’t have become ex-friends.
This concludes the first issue of my “autobiography” haha.